Letter to my Cats

Dear Cats,

You know we are moving house. At least, I assume you do. Perhaps you think we are creating a giant playground for your convenience? You are half right. We are doing this to ensure you have even more space to take over.

We have some news for you, but I will get to that in a moment.

I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you, Harvey, for kindly tearing the skin down my finger in an effort to wake me up. It did. The pouncing on me once I had gone back to sleep was a nice touch too. But it was lovely to wake up and find you snuggled into my neck. Thank you.

Frankie, sweetheart, earplugs are not a major food group and should not been considered a regular starter. Also, I would be able to feed you a lot quicker in the mornings, if I didn't have to search so hard for clean underwear. Stop stealing my knickers.

Ellie. Just stop eating the boxes. You are not teething. Neither are you a bird, so you can't fly. I don't care how many times you throw yourself off of the shelves, it isn't going to happen. It is lovely when you come for a snuggle in the night. However, to make it a little more pleasant for me, could you please stop putting your bottom in my face?

Charlie, I promise we aren't going to leave you behind. Promise. You are coming with us. I will never leave you. So can I please remove you from my leg? I can't feel it anymore.

Willow. You get fed. Please refrain from stealing food from my plate. Also, whilst I have your attention, I appreciate that your eye socket might itch from time to time. It would be nice if you found another way of relieving it. People don't like having their noses pushed into empty and furry eye scokets. It just feels a little odd.

Hollie. Please come out from under the sofa. We'd love to see you. It's been 16 days.

Love,

Your slaves.

PS. You are all off to cattery tomorrow.

Comments

Oh, and do you think that Hollie will ever come out from under the couch after a visit to the cattery?
PEZ | Email | Homepage | 10.14.04 - 7:23 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's really going to suck to have to take the couch to the cattery with her.....
Snapper | Email | Homepage | 10.14.04 - 9:22 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You have too many children. Heh.
Evil One | Email | Homepage | 10.15.04 - 4:44 pm | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hehe
Katie | Email | Homepage | 10.16.04 - 12:02 am | #

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------