Silent alarm clocks. Lazy lie-ins. Late breakfasts. Huge cups of fresh coffee with whipped cream. Sunday roasts. A quiet read. A leisurely pint in the pub. Long hot baths.
Those were the pre-pet days.
Nowadays............
A silent alarm clock. Charlie bopping my hand to wake me at the time my alarm clock would have gone off. Hollie bopping my face to wake me and move Charlie. Ellie hanging off of the curtains. Ozzy talking to himself. Frankie snoring. The Baron snoring.
Lila howling, demanding breakfast, a walk and playtime. Clean up after teh dog. Clean the litter tray. Feed the cats. Feed the dog. Clean up after the dog. Clean the litter tray again. Put more cat food down as Ozzy ate it all. Play with the dog. Clean up after the dog.
Remove Frankie from the shower. Have shower. Remove Charlie from warm towel. Get dressed. Remove Charlie from damp towel. Remove Willow from the washing basket and put the towel in.
Clean up after the dog. Make breakfast. Start eating. Chase dog into conservatory for peace and quiet. Return to find a cat eating my breakfast.
Sit down with a cup of tea (Ellie got into the cream I just whipped for coffee, and there isn't enough to make another cup).
Start getting lunch ready. Retrieve howling dog from conservatory. Clean the conservatory.
Put the roast in the oven. Trip over Willow as she assumes her watch guard position. Feed the dog. Clean up after the dog. Ignore Willow's piteous cries.
Take lunch out. Put dog in conservatory. Return to find Frankie and Willow licking the joint of meat. Pretend I didn't see. Serve and eat.
Ignore untidy kitchen. Remove howling dog from the conservatory. Clean the conservatory. Feed the dog. Feed the cats. Remove the dog from the litter tray. Scoop the litter tray before the dog eats anymore. Clean up after the dog.
Collapse on the sofa. Open book. Read two lines. Remove Charlie from the book. Tend to bleeding bite wound. Read two lines. Remove Frankie from the book. Put book away.
Debate going to the pub. Realise the dog has chewed through my bootlaces (again). Decide that the pub is too much effort.
Clean up after the dog. Play with the dog. Tend to new bleeding bite wounds.
Decide to have a bath. Remove Frankie from the bath. Run bath. Get in. Watch Ellie eat the bubbles. Watch Frankie fall in. Retrieve Frankie. Remove Charlie from warm towel. Dry Frankie. Get dressed. Remove Charlie from damp towel.
Try to get into bed. Inch Ozzy over. Don't move too quickly or Charlie gets upset. Leave room on the pillow for Hollie. Leave room at the end of the bed for Willow. Realise I am lying on Frankie's tail. Sneeze and send them all running.
Fall into an exhausted slumber.
And look forward all week to the next Sunday......
Holy cow, you make me tired!
Posted by: Kimmer | Sunday, 20 February 2005 at 20:18
Hah. Do you really want to add to that chaos? ;)
Posted by: The Arrogant One | Monday, 21 February 2005 at 01:25