Sandwiches

My favourite lunch ever.

Easy to make, carry and eat. You can eat them whilst sitting at your desk working (or playing Spider Solitaire), or whilst wandering aimlessly round the shops because you can’t face returning to that file review you have been putting off.

You can eat them at home lying on the sofa, or whilst chasing after the pets/kids/painter high on cocaine. In the garden. Stuck on traffic. So what to have?

Maybe I lied about sandwiches being the easy option……

Fish? Meat? Salad? Egg? Cheese? Mayo? Butter? Rolls? Sliced white? Wholemeal bread? Malted bread? Baguette? Ciabatta? Flatbread?

Normally I make my lunch at home. But……sometimes I get stuck in traffic and I get bored and hungry. On those days, my sandwich doesn’t even get close to lunchtime before meeting its demise. Of course, even if I get to work on time, the fact that I have a sandwich with me means that I don’t have to resist hunger in the morning.

So sometimes I have to buy one. There are too many choices – do I want the organic sweet-cure bacon, organic egg and sunblush tomato on the organic wholemeal bread, or do I fancy the rare roast beef and mustard on a sliced bloomer, or do I actually want the chicken Caesar wrap with croutons………..?

And every shop and its aunt sells sandwiches, so before I even get to the sandwich choice I have to pick what bloody shop to go to.

Do I want pre-made, or do I want a specially crafted sandwich? Which leads to even more decisions……….which client am I at – are there any shops around? How much time do I have to queue? Am I in an open office? Do I have a white shirt on? Do I have any cash?

By this time, of course, either my entire lunchtime has been spent fart-arsing around, or I am just not hungry anymore.

Today, I spent ages trying to pick a sandwich. I had had a lovely hoisin duck wrap earlier in the week, but then felt very ill after. It turns out that it had bloody cream cheese in it. I found it tucked away in the ingredient list after spending the afternoon inexplicably throwing up– what the fuck is cheese doing in a hoisin duck wrap?

Did I learn to read the ingredients? Did I bollocks.

I picked my sandwich. Being virtuous I had selected a low calorie roast chicken sandwich, no mayo, low fat spread. Well, my right hand was virtuous. My left hand was clutching a packet of Maltesers. I concentrated hard on that right hand. Left hand was hand non grata.

The queue was long. I flicked through a crappy women’s mag (“Eat nothing but chocolate and lose six stone”…… “My husband is a love cheat RAT but I’ll never leave him”……… “I am a man and I didn’t KNOW until I gave birth!”………. I got pregnant from wearing my husbands TROUSERS – whoops, that one was from Delphiland).

Two people from the front of the queue, and I glanced over the ingredient list of my virtuous sandwich.

Dear people, can you guess what was hiding in my roast chicken sandwich, no mayo, low fat spread?

Can you? That is right. Fucking cream cheese. What the fuck is cream cheese doing in my sandwich? Again? And in a low calorie sandwich? Argh.

So back I trudged to the sandwich cabinet and I started the whole bloody process over again.

I just had a crappy full fat chicken sandwich, with peppered mayo on malted bread.

I need inspiration for tomorrow. So tell me. What is your perfect sandwich? I need to know.

Comments

[Silvia]

Your sandwich choices sound great, shame about the cheese though.

My favourite is soy and linseed bread with ham cheese and tomato, lots of salt and pepper.

Or a crusty crusty italian roll with roast chicken and camembert.

Hmm, my sandwiches/rolls nearly always feature cheese of some sort.

[Pez]

I love sandwiches too. My absolute favourite is a vegatable sandwich from a restarant in Minneapolis, Minnesota. It has sliced tomato, roasted red pepper, provolone cheese, red onion, seasoned chèvre and arugula on multigrain focaccia. I am drooling just thinking about it. I haven't had one in nearly 6 years but I dream about them and definitely will have one if I am ever back in Minnesota.

[Silvia]

Today I had fetta cheese and fresh tomatoes with a dash of olive oil and salt and pepper. It wasnt really a sandwich as I just dipped the crusty bread into the 'slush' left over.

Heaven though.

[Katie]

I love sandwiches too but mine are so boring compared to yours. I usually get a chicken breast (grilled or breaded) with lettuce, tomato, and a dab of mayo. Or BLT's, I lose those too.

[Miss Arrogant]

I swear it didn't happen on purpose...but I recently finished listening to Bridget Jones the Edge of Reason on tape, and as I read your post, I could hear the British actress who read the story. It was grand, huzzah!

Anyway, on to your very important question. One of my favorite sandwiches involves a nice whole wheat bread with cranberries (or some kind of cranberry spread), turkey, avocado, and sprouts. The cranberry spread can be substituted with spicy mustard. And if cheese is a must (and it usually is for me), I would go with a nice white like Harvati or Gouda. Yum.

[Kimmer]

Sandwiches rock! Egg salad on rye, BLT with summer tomatoes or smoked turkey on anything are my faves.

[Miss Arrogant]

Oooh, I just remembered another favorite of mine. You have to go to a Jewish deli for this one: Egg bread (YUM), corned beef, provalone. Very crisp pickle on the side.

[J]

I'm personally a big fan of banh mi, the Vietnamese sandwiches. Crusty French bread, chicken or this sort of special Vietnamese sausage, the sweet vinegary dipping sauce you get with spring rolls, thin slivers of cucumber and carrot, sliver of jalapeno, a little mayo, and for me a dollop of Vietnamese hot sauce